I reconnected with someone from grade school recently. We grew up in the same neighborhood, around the corner from one another. When we were in third grade, he lost one of his arms to cancer. He grew up differently than most kids in my upper middle class suburban haven because of this tragedy. He was shunned or ignored by many for his loss. Perhaps I was guilty of writing him off quickly too. Growing up is difficult enough; I can’t imagine how he endured all of those years as an outcast of sorts.
We went to the same schools, including college. After University, he went on to Harvard Law and London Business School. He is a brilliant mind and a loving soul. He reminded me of the gifts I have to share and the responsibility I have to share them. He reminded me of where I came from and shined a brighter light on where I am heading.
I took some time to put myself in his shoes and think about just how strong he is. It seems we all experience a torturous loss of some sort in our lives. Whether it’s dealt to us early in life, or something we are given to muddle through later in life, or both, we all share this human experience. Thinking about his life, I realized, the only difference between us, is that his pain and his loss is readily visible; most of the rest of us have ours neatly hidden away. It made me think about what it would be like for everyone to see our pain. Would we be kinder and more gentler with one another? I like to think so.
Reality is that most people are sizing up others, holding on to expectations, and judging their lives in accordance with what they have been taught the pinnacle for success is or should be. What if we reprogrammed ourselves into thinking that success is gauged by our kind natures, on our ability to help, on our willingness to love and be loved? A utopia of sorts, for certain, but an attainable one in which we are not alone because we understand that we are much more alike than we are different.
I think that my friend truly knows what success is; not because he was the top of his class at a top ten university, or because he was the top of his class at Harvard Law, or because he is a successful criminal attorney considering a very astute political position…no, he is a success because he was forced to live with his physical discomfort for all to witness and he still remained focused on creating a better life for himself; he still remained full of passion and drive and kindness. He could have given up and really let life beat him down; he’d have the right to act like a grumpy jerk. He kept his mind right. Maybe he did so because there wasn’t any other way to be, or because he didn’t know any other way. Regardless, he overcame an enormous obstacle and kept right on moving through life. He seems most successful to me because of his outlook. There isn’t anything that he isn’t willing to learn about, or to try. He is fearless when it comes to facing new opportunities.
Because we cannot see other’s pains or afflictions most times, it is important to realize that we are all experiencing this life. With all of the trials and tribulations, we are all the same. Focusing on cutting someone down, instead of building them up, or ignoring the smiling face in front of you because it is packaged differently than you expected is foolish indeed. Just because you can’t see someone struggling doesn’t mean they aren’t. Just because you can’t see it, or they don’t ask for it, doesn’t mean others don’t need your help or guidance, or loving ways.
In times of change and turmoil, lifting someone else up with your care can be an incredible gift to share with another as well as yourself.
“Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May…”
Waiting to Enjoy your Life is silly. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Truly, the time to revel in joy and pursuits of passion is Now!
Whether it’s spending time with a lovely companion embracing you throughout a long languid evening, or traveling to see your favorite hockey team, make sure you make time to engage in activities that move you. I can guarantee that you will never be sorry you did. Moments that move you are priceless and should always be sought!
In the past six months I have smiled, laughed, and let my soul sing more than I have in the past 5 years. I let go of people who made me anxious or upset or on edge and made room for those who make me feel at ease and encourage me to smile. I let go of fear and doubt and replaced those useless emotions with passion and action. I have surrounded myself with all things that add great happiness to my day to day life. In so doing, I am constantly bombarded with wonderful opportunities to spend time with those who avoid negativity; and sought out by those who seek experiences that fulfill and gratify those who share them together. I am most at home amongst kindred spirits.
Since January I have gone to great lengths to pursue one of my all time favorite hobbies of enjoying live music. I have dubbed this year my very own personal ‘I Love Rock n Roll’ tour and have been keeping a blog of my travels to share with my friends and family. I have traveled to nine cities in six months, including Utrecht, Netherlands to absorb every day magic. I have been averaging 2~3 shows per month! I have seen some of my favorite bands perform in clubs, small theaters, and bar venues. I have also been blessed to meet some of these artists and personally thank them for sharing their gifts of art and beauty with the world.
Mostly I have traveled alone to these shows, which adds another element of excitement for me. I find that the adrenaline rush of the show, plus the nervousness of being there solo makes for quite a lot of fun. Being by myself while on these journeys has made me get out of my shy shell a bit more. I have met some really amazing people during my travels, and because of social networking, I have been able to keep in touch with them.
Connecting with others because of shared passions has been incredible. I met a girl from France at a show in San Francisco and we danced and sang the night away together and continue to keep in touch; and a fellow and his wife, from the UK, at a show in Portland let me in front of them so I could snap some better pics, only if I >agreed to share them later. I’ve shared my photos with fan sites and aspiring rock n’ roll photographers in Europe. Meeting these great people helped renew my faith that there are still good people out in the world. Meeting the artists themselves showed me how humble some celebrities are to well deserved praise and that most are just like every day people I already know.
It seems there are other people who like to enjoy positive vibes and rocking and rolling out here scattering smiles in the free world too….though, my point in sharing this in this arena of my life is to say: there are other members of your tribe out there, you just have to seek them out. Doing so, will help you connect more deeply with yourself as well as others. It is so important to seek out whatever you are passionate about. Even if you don’t directly participate in your passion, being around it can really help your soul sing more loudly.
Perhaps I am as much of a hedonist as I am a stoic…though I don’t want to spend my life wishing, wanting, or waiting. Slow and steady does indeed win the race, but only if you enter the race…With that said, I’ve got so many more miles to travel, shows to see, smiles to share, and people to meet all for the purpose of connecting with myself on a higher level.
Time to Get Busy and seek out more Virginal Experiences, my friends…time is short and each day is here for us to enjoy! I already have many more concert travel plans booked for the rest of the year…what are you doing to enjoy your life?!!