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Samantha Sommers Journal

Samantha Sommers Journal

Nervous Nerds

Believe it or not, I am generally a shy and pretty reserved person. I’m not going to be the center of attention at any party or event. I like to remain in the background. I’m the sponge soaking it all in from beyond the parameters of the nucleus.

In the past, I have felt the rushes of anxiety when meeting someone for the first time. I have definitely felt those awkward feelings when forced into the spotlight. I have been overwrought with apprehension. The butterflies flit around in my chest and my breath is a little quicker; my pulse is a bit faster. Wondering…. hoping…the unknown is overwhelming sometimes.

When I was in high school, a girlfriend and I deemed ourselves “Nervous Nerds”. This term became particularly useful when in the presence of a guy we were crushing on, yet were too scared to initiate conversation with. Oh, you know those feelings. You see the object of your desire and would like nothing more than to take that special someone in your arms and more. But, there you are, palms sweaty, eyes darting frantically around and averted to avoid contact. Imagine what those feelings are like (if you are not currently feeling them!)…those jittery waves of unease; partial uncertainty.

“Oh No”, you think, “what could I say?”, or “what shall I do?”. There are so many variables…. will the parts of the equation add up to equal fantastic? Or, will something in the formula for perfection be lacking and equate to a horrific error?One never truly knows. There are no guarantees. You navigate as best you can and hope that your reservations for delight were not made in vain. I know, kinda silly, but it’s true. We’ve all been there. Most likely we will all be there again. Maybe even now you are killing time reading this whilst waiting for someone to join you and those sheepish feelings of unease have you in their grips!he thoughts that swirl in the brain after the grand entrance, into your current surroundings, by your much anticipated guest are many and varied. Thoughts are scattered…things are kind of awkward at first. And then…a soft word, a look, a touch. A warmth in the eyes beckons you and invites you to become a part of it all…. if only for an instant. And, it happens. Contact is made. A spark. And the flame has been lit, only to grow and engulf it’s originators with it’s heat. Ahhhhh…the buzz…that blessed energy that starts it’s climatic dance; it begins to twirl and sway and sashay it’s way from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Your brain is alive with vivid loveliness and clarity; just soaking it all in. Eyes are open.

You must make sure this is real and that this is truly happening. And you look. And there you see someone who is feeling like you do. You are sharing an electric bath of tingling excitement. A release. An explosion. A force that you collaborated to create and then it could not be reckoned with any longer. It gains momentum and becomes unstoppable until it is so much more than it started as. A spray of happiness. A shower of calm and peacefulness. Lying there in the afterglow you laugh. What the heck was I so nervous for?!And, ultimately you feel relaxed inside and out. You both feel the humming inside our your bodies. Bliss scheduled and ecstasy achieved. Awkward moments avoided and conquered. It was all in your head anyway. You feel powerful again. The world is right once again!…That is until the next time an unknown companion comes knocking on your door. And, the bubbling anticipation of the unknown begins again. My advice: just say the silly words ‘nervous nerd’ aloud or in your mind and you may just loosen up a bit. You might realize there isn’t any need to be nervous. You may have a goofy grin on your face, but isn’t that better than a look of fear?!There are other things a nervous nerd can do to calm themselves. Here are just a few suggestions (though you may have your own techniques to alleviate your symptoms):Deep breaths, mustering a smile, asking a question to engage conversation, eye contact, a drink of water, a cocktail if you drink (not too much you don’t want to act foolish), have a mental list of questions you would like to ask them, imagine them naked, more deep breaths…. And Finally, remember… it’s another person, just like you. And chances are, there may be a touch of Nervous Nerd in them too!

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