I only want a man who is more than a handful*

*of orgasms per day.

For anyone, on either side, who’s leaving the country following the election, I will be exchanging foreign currency in my garage at a modest margin.

I brushed my hair and put a pretty dress on just to call you

was anyone else turned on by this debate? because it seems like no matter what the worlds going to end and we should start fucking like it is

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