PSA: When arriving to someone’s hotel room, don’t loudly exclaim “Hi! Nice to meet you! Wow, you look great!” As soon as they open the door while you’re still in the hall. Please just greet each other inside.

Discretion is a shared responsibility, friends!

Just once in my life I want a true crime podcast to tell me the victim was a cranky fart rather than they lit up every room they entered. I refuse to believe every victim ever was a walking ray of sunshine. If I’m ever that victim, please describe me accurately as a salty B.

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. OK, most of the time... Once in a while. Should I just put myself on the naughty list already?

City thread for companions:

Drop a professional sfw photo of you on left, with a photo that represents your home city on the right.

Isabella Bloom from Chicago 🤍

Good morning!☀️

Chicago was cold, Dallas was surprisingly warm, and Vegas is just right. 🍂

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